Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
When it comes to conflict between two people there are a lot of variables and moving parts. Not all conflict is the same. All if tends to stem, however, from a similar pool of sewage and it all seems to smell the same. But, the cause and the cure can have remarkably different definitions and solutions. In the above passage, however, we find two principles of Scripture that can assist as we navigate any type of conflict. The first principle is that “whoever serves Christ” has a level of acceptance and approval by God and by mankind. This repeats a behavior and example set by Jesus as he grew older. Luke records it this way:
And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.
Those who want to serve God and seek His face in Christ, are promised a supernatural acceptance level with mankind. That is not true for all men, because, regretfully some are for war and not peace. In speaking about a friend, or friends, he had, who he was now experiencing conflict, King David stated:
I am for peace,
but when I speak, they are for war!
Early in Romans, Paul told us to:
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
We have the obligation in our Christian walk to pursue peace by serving Christ. That introduces the second principle in Paul’s conclusion about conflict. He states that those who really are walking in the light of Christ will “pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding” of others. That is the hard thing to do in a conflict. We don’t always “feel” like “upbuilding” those who have offended us or who are walking contrary to our thoughts. Romans 14 is all about a conflict brewing in the church and between some competing values of the members. The key to resolving conflict within the Christian community, Paul states, is to agree that we are living for Christ, not ourselves and that we are obligated to build another up. In the next chapter of Paul’s notes on conflict, he builds on this thoughtt:
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.
We are obligated in our Christian walk to build up another. We are not to tear them down. Paul said the same thing to the Ephesian Christians this way:
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Simple words can’t fix conflict. However, int that passage, according to Paul, words are the avenue for God’s grace. Words can, of course, make the conflict worse. The building block to restore and repair our hearts after conflict are to agree to mutually serve Christ and to mutually pursue peace, by speaking truth through a kind and forgiving heart. That doesn’t change the circumstances, but it does open the doors for God to do a work. That is what God subscribes as the answer to conflict.
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