How to Love Your Wife
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Wow!! Okay, so the above verses would be great marriage vows for a man to say to his wife at their wedding. Except, there is one problem. These are not simply vows to be stated in ceremonial fashion. These are instructs to be to fulfilled toward a wife, each day of the man’s existence. The instructions are based upon one perfect example: Men are to love their wives JUST LIKE Christ loves the Church. There is no exception. There is no option. Men are not to love their wives based upon how the wife treats them. Christ loves the church despite how the church treats Christ. They are not to love their wives based upon the wife’s performance of her duties. Christ does not love the church based upon performance, since it fails Him constantly. Men are not to love their wives based upon how they feel each day. Christ loves us based upon His shed blood for us. His love is based upon sacrifice, not convenience. Paul does state that them man should love his wife as he loves himself. In Paul’s mind every man has a bit of narcissism in them (which women have been saying for centuries). The formula is simple. If we love our wives as we Christ loves us through the church and love them as we love our own bodies, we will accomplish the relationship God set us out to accomplish. We are not to focus on the wife, as husbands. We are to focus on the bench mark of our love toward them: Christ’s love for the church. That is the ONLY bench mark we have.
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