Subject: Counseling - Job 18-19

Job 18:2 (ESV Strong's)
“How long will you hunt for words?
Consider, and then we will speak.

Job 18:2 (NASB Strong's)
“How long will you hunt for words?
Show understanding and then we can talk.

Job 18:2 (NIV 1984)
“When will you end these speeches?
Be sensible, and then we can talk.

Subject:  Counseling

As this next chapter in Job's ordeal begins, his friend, Bildad, delivers his second speech.   Bildad, up until now, has been "persuasive" in his arguments, like the other two friends of Job.   They all three are attempting to get Job to admit this condition he is in is the result of his own sin.  The all three, to one extent or the other, simple want Job to confess his sin and then God can bring goodness back to his life.  That is their theme.  However, Bildad is about to make a mistake no one counseling another person should make.   Bildad is taking Job's remarks personal.   In this opening sentence (above) Bildad, in essence, says: "When you come to your senses and can carry a conversation with us, speak up.  But, until then, be quiet!!"   In the next verse Bildad accuses Job of making their arguments, so far, as though they sound like they are coming from dumb cattle:

Job 18:3 (ESV Strong's)
Why are we counted as cattle?
Why are we stupid in your sight?

Instead of pointing Job to God and to God's love, mercy and grace (a theme that should be at the center of all Godly counsel), Bildad makes it personal and attacks Job.  As you read this entire chapter you see Bildad go from persuasive to punitive.    In this chapter he attacks Job rather than points Job to God.   Instead of simply realizing that Job's words flow from pain and keeping his focus on God, Bildad begins to speak out of his pain (the pain that Job won't listen to him) and he attacks Job all the more.   Now Job is feeling the pain of his health issues, the loss of his family and the suffering of his material loss AND the pain of his friend who is attacking him.   Bildad could have been a close friend who simply came alongside Job and recognized the pain and pointing Him to God for strength and mercy.  Instead, Bildad makes it personally because Job won't listen to his brilliant words.   In our counseling of others, we must never pull a Bildad.  We are not the source of strength for those we counsel.   Our words are not intended to be healing.  Our words are to point them to God who heals.  He is the Healer.  If we do that, they are rejecting Him and not us.   Bildad put himself in the place of God.   Counsellors are not be judges.