Leaders Should Never Social Buffer in Decision Making - 1 Chronicles 15-19

1 Chronicles 19:1-4 (ESV)

Now after this Nahash the king of the Ammonites died, and his son reigned in his place. And David said, “I will deal kindly with Hanun the son of Nahash, for his father dealt kindly with me.” So David sent messengers to console him concerning his father. And David's servants came to the land of the Ammonites to Hanun to console him. But the princes of the Ammonites said to Hanun, “Do you think, because David has sent comforters to you, that he is honoring your father? Have not his servants come to you to search and to overthrow and to spy out the land?” So Hanun took David's servants and shaved them and cut off their garments in the middle, at their hips, and sent them away;

Sometimes the counsel we get from our friends is not all that good.   In the above incident the young, new king of the Ammonites, Hanun, listened to his friends and made a very bad decision about David’s intent and envoy.  It was sent to comfort him but his friends counseled him to treat them as foes.   His willingness to listen to them would cost him. When David rose up against him for this disgrace to his men, Hanun hired the warriors to fight for him.  That costs him.    These warriors were then destroyed by David’s army of mighty men.  That, too, would cost:

1 Chronicles 19:18 (ESV)

And the Syrians fled before Israel, and David killed of the Syrians the men of 7,000 chariots and 40,000 foot soldiers, and put to death also Shophach the commander of their army.

All this happened because a young leader listened to bad counsel.  Rather than become humble and accept David’s comfort, Hanun followed his friends counsel.   We need to be careful when we seek counsel that it aligns with what God intends.   Social buffering is when we hang around with those who agree with us and they tell us what we want to hear.   Hanun fell to the harm and dangers of social buffering in his leadership.   Leaders can NEVER social buffer.   They should spend time gather data and counsel from a variety of sources.  When we social buffer we only listen to those who agree with us.   That causes us to make poor decisions that result in loss.