Mindful Constraints - Ruth

 Ruth 1:11-14 (ESV)

11 But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, 13 would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me.” 14 Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

Mindful Constraints

Naomi is in a bad spot.   She has lost her husband and her two sons to a famine.  Her husband, Elimelech, took Naomi and their two sons to Moab during a famine that had impacted all of the land of Judah.   While in Moab, Elimelech and his two sons die.  But, not before the two sons take on two wives: Orpah and Ruth.    

Naomi, after the deaths, decides to return to Judah and tells the two widows to leave her and return to their people. This is where we pick up the above story.   Naomi has lost everything.   She is caught in a thinking pattern that is about to hold her back.   She is hindered by both a cognitive anchor and an assumed constraint.  

A cognitive anchor is when we believe something can only be right when it looks a certain way.   A cognitive anchor is where we “think” we should go or how it should look when we get there.   Naomi tells Ruth and Orpah that she has no plans to have another baby that they can marry.  In those days that would be the normal way to solve the problem.   She states, “I am too old to have a husband.” She is locked in the thought of “what it should look like” based upon past ways to solve problems.   She is forgetting the story of Sarah and Abraham, who gave birth in old age.   But, she could only see one solution.  Yet, God had another plan. 

She also was caught in a mindset of an assumed constraint.   An assumed constraint is a false narrative we create in our heads that prevents us from getting where we ought to be.   We might say we create assumed constraints that prevent us from reaching our cognitive anchors.   In this case, she “assumed” the girls would want to “refrain” from marriage, unless Naomi gave brith to a son.   As a result of these negative approaches to problem solving Orpah leaves Naomi and returns to Moab.  But, Ruth clings to a hope that Naomi does not share. 

As Ruth returns home with Naomi we read “the rest of the story.”   God had a plan. Naomi did not see it.   But, God would provide a man for Ruth (Boaz), a near relative to Naomi.  In her “hurt,” Naomi could not see the hand of God.  She did not see through the pain that God was still on the throne and could solve this problem in a miraculous way.  She is in so much pain that when she returns to her land she refuses to allow others to call her Naomi (which means “pleasant”) and rather tells everyone back home to call her Mara (which means “bitter”). 

God does a marvelous things, however, despite her hurt.   God, through Boaz, gives Naomi a grandson.  Note the end of the book:

Ruth 4:17 (ESV)

17 And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.

Obed will be the grandfather to King David and Jesus will be a descendent of them all.   So, through the pain and suffering of loss, God did something for Naomi (and ultimately for us). He changed her cognitive anchor to allow her to see life in a different pattern and he changed the false narrative in her head about her assumed constraint.   Naomi had logical thoughts.  But, God’s ways transcend our logic.  He makes things happen we can’t imagine.   This is what God does as He unfolds His plan for us.