Wealth brings many new friends,
but a poor man is deserted by his friend.
Proverbs 19:6 (ESV)
Many seek the favor of a generous man,
and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts.
Proverbs 19:7 (ESV)
All a poor man's brothers hate him;
how much more do his friends go far from him!
He pursues them with words, but does not have them.
Friendships are weird! Almost everyone has friends. Some have more, some of less. There are few that have none, but, it does happen. Before looking at the above three verses from this chapter, look at what Solomon stated in another proverb about friends and being friendly:
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Being a friend begat friendships, according to Solomon. But, he does realize that there are some certain elements that impact friendship. Note:
1. Wealth impacts friendship (v. 4). When people have money they have more and more friends. People are attracted to people with means. People with money have bigger homes so they can entertain more friends. People with money have more worldly successes so they meet more people, to make them friends. The poor man has little to offer and therefore has less and less friends.
2. Generosity impacts friendship (v. 6. This might, as above, appeal more to those of wealth, but not necessarily. Anyone can be generous. Granted a wealthy person can afford to be more generous. But, anyone of any means can be generous with their time, their love, their knowledge. Generous people make friends more than stingy people, is Solomon’s point.
3. Poverty impacts friendship (v. 7a). This is more than simply the opposite of verse four, above. It is true that wealth attracts friends and poverty does not, but verse seven goes beyond that. Not only does poverty NOT attract people in friendships, it can actually propel them away. In the above proverb we see that even the “brother” of the poor man deserts him.
4. Empty words impact friendship (v. 7b). The above proverb talks about the poor man pursuing his/her brother. But, since they only have words, those he/she is pursuing are not enticed. Those types of people are probably not worth pursuing, but that is not Solomon’s focus. He simply is making the point that words alone seldom attract a following. This might be the worse type of friendship to pursue.
The point of the book of Proverbs is to teach us about the fear of the Lord that creates wisdom in our life choices. The point of these verses is that many friendships are based upon some shallow elements. These elements do impact friendship, make not mistake about that truth. But, true friendship is about having Godly wisdom. That might be what the end of Proverbs 8:24 states: “ ... there is a friend who stickers closer than a brother.” God, through Christ’s finish work and the ministry of the Holy Spirit, will stick close to those who have great wisdom ... which comes from the fear of the Lord. That is the type of commodity we want to offer those around us. That is the basis of great friendship.
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