Grieving Over a Rebellious Son
David's Grief
31 And behold, the Cushite came, and the Cushite said, “Good news for my lord the king! For the LORD has delivered you this day from the hand of all who rose up against you.” 32 The king said to the Cushite, “Is it well with the young man Absalom?” And the Cushite answered, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up against you for evil be like that young man.” 33 And the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”
The above passage comes at the end of several chapters that tell the story of David’s son, Absalom, and his rebellion against his father David. Absalom tried to take over the kingdom. During the process he did some evil things to show his despite for his father King David. David was run out of the city of Jerusalem and Absalom tried to steal the hearts of the people. When the coup was over, Absalom was struck dead by David’s commander, Joan. The above verses are David’s response to hearing the news about the death of Absalom. Note David’s extreme grief. He will be chiding for this grief by Joab, later, however:
5 Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “You have today covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who have this day saved your life and the lives of your sons and your daughters and the lives of your wives and your concubines, 6 because you love those who hate you and hate those who love you. For you have made it clear today that commanders and servants are nothing to you, for today I know that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased.
There is, however, real grief for a father and mother who have found their children rebelling. Note what David’s other son, Solomon, will say about this later. Perhaps he was thinking of his half-brother Absalom when he wrote these proverbs:
1 The proverbs of Solomon.
A wise son makes a glad father,
but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
26 He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother
is a son who brings shame and reproach.
26 He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother
is a son who brings shame and reproach.
David had real grief over his rebellious son. This was a son that wanted to kill him. Yet, David grieved his loss. Parents who have rebellious children know the pain that this can cause in the heart. David had free expression of it. But, he stepped over the line, forgetting those who did love him and honored him. Note what Jesus tells us about our walk with him in this regard:
Jesus' Mother and Brothers
46 While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. 48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Jesus knows that if we follow Him we will be rejected by mankind. This is what happened to David. Absalom did not reject David, his father, he rejected God, his Heavenly Father. If our children rejects us and rebel against us, let it be for our walk with the Lord and not simply fighting over worldly things.
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