How To Rebuke a Friend
1 “But now, hear my speech, O Job,
and listen to all my words.
2 Behold, I open my mouth;
the tongue in my mouth speaks.
3 My words declare the uprightness of my heart,
and what my lips know they speak sincerely.
4 The Spirit of God has made me,
and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
5 Answer me, if you can;
set your words in order before me; take your stand.
The above passage is the opening comments from Job’s friend Elihu. In chapter 32 we read the Elihu has been sitting along side Job’s other three friends this entire time. But, because of his youthfulness he has refused to speak. But, when Job stops speaking and the three friends stop speaking, Elihu decides it is his turn. He is going to rebuke Job and his three friends. He sees them all in violation of the character of God. In the above passage we see the following lessons about how to rebuke a friend:
1). At some point and time we have to speak up! Yes, Elihu waited and let the “aged” speak first. He had respect for them. But, that did not stop him from speaking.
2). It is implied that Elihu is demanding that Job listen to his words. He is not going to take “no” for an answer. Job may not wanted to hear Elihu’s thoughts, but that was not going to stop Elihu from speaking them. Sometimes, despite the resistance of the hearer, we have to speak up.
3). We have to speak with truth in our hearts and sincerity on our lips. This is no time for fake empathy. Elihu wants to speak truth to Job. Saying he is speaking from an “upright” heart implies he is not trying to press his agenda, but rather truth he believes needs to be said. We have to always realize we have to align our words with truth.
4). He openly admits that he is like Job and his only hope is his reliance on God. He does not claim, like Job’s other friends, a superior nature to Job. He simply states, “The Spirit of God has made me,
and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” He knows that he is but a vessel for God.
5). He allows Job the opportunity to respond to the words he is about to speak. He is open to correction. He is open to a challenge. He creates a pathway for Job to object. Job will not, however. Job never responds to Elihu. But, Elihu does create the opportunity for Job to speak.
We ought to be willing to correct our friends. But, we ought to do it in the right way and manner.
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